iMarried Demon Dork
by SeddieAnonymous
Summary: Sam and Freddie are adults and after they get drunk at Carly's wedding. They find themselves married. Not to mention a knocked up Sam. I crazy story about how two best friends got the life they always dreamed of. SEDDIE
1. Welcome to my Life

Freddie

…

I look into her eyes and get down on one knee. She goes completely shocked.

" Freddie," She says.

" Will you Ellie Sitwell marry me?" I ask. Ellie doesn't speak for two minutes.

" I SLEPT WITH MARK!" She yells.

" You what?" I yell standing up. We're in the middle of a park at night and I just purposed to her and turns out she slept with my incompetent secretary.

" When did this happen?" I ask with a tone she gets scared of.

" It was two weeks ago when you went to your conference in New York. I got lonely and I bumped into Mark when coming back from Old Mike's with the girls who got me drunk beyond imaginable." Ellie says.

" Why did you choose to tell me now?" I ask. She takes a big gulp.

" Cause I think I love him." She says.

" Is that why Mark always leaves during lunch? To bang you?" I ask demandingly.

" I'm sorry!" I close my eyes.

" My stuff is already at Sandy's." Ellie says.

" Your gonna leave. Just like that." I say.

" We're twenty-seven Freddie for crying out loud! We have been dating for three years." That when she realizes what today is. " Since today. Today is the thirteenth right?" I nod my head. She wraps her arms around me. " I am so sorry." She kisses me on the cheek and walks away. I watch her curly brown hair once up and down as she walks. She looks at me and her green eyes well up.

I walk to my apartment building. I take the elevator and get out on the tenth floor. I pull out my keys and open the door and switch on the lights. Everything of Ellie's is gone.

My life is fucked up. I throw my keys in there usual spot on the hallway table and go straight to bed. I look up at the ceiling.

I couldn't sleep that night.

-0-

I get up and dressed for work. I stop by Starbucks and get me some breakfast. I walk into my office building. Jenson Inc.

Everyone greets me like usual except for Mark. I have a bone to pick with him. I walk into my office with the big glass windows and I call him in.

" What up Freddie?" He asks. He's twenty-three, completely incompetent, and humps every woman that walks into this building. I point at him to take a seat. I put my hands out in front of me and look at him.

" Do you know what happened last night?" I ask.

" You purposed to Ellie which she said yes. Therefore, your in a happy mood." He says. I look into his eyes.

" Do I seem happy?" I ask angerily.

" No."

" Ellie told me everything. She said no and is living with Sandy now. You know the girl you banged in the paper closet."

" Oh yeah her."

" Well, I can't have you in this building. I already spoke with Mr. Jenson. He doesn't like your input here. Your fired." I say.

" What? You can't fire me!"

" I don't care if he is your uncle, Mark!" I look at him. " Get out." I say in a stern voice. He walks out of my office and I watch him put his supplies into a box and leave. I hear a knock at my door.

" Freddie." Nina says from the front desk.

" Yeah." I say.

" Do you need a secretary?" Nina asks. She has always been a good friend of mine. She always has good advice and says yes to anything you ask from her except for sex and blow jobs.

" Yeah. I do." I say.

" Uh oh."

" Uh oh what?"

" You said I do. As in a depressed I do as meaning that Ellie didn't say yes." She says.

" How you dream minds?" I ask sarcastcally.

" Hey! I got a therapist diploma but it only got me here working at Jenson's Incorporated." She replies.

" Let me use my talent." She says and sits on my desk. She has messy brown hair and blue eyes. She's five foot three and has curves. She's not my type. Not to mention she has her boyfriend the artist. My phone rings and she picks it.

" Freddie Benson's office, how may I help?" She asks over the phone. " Yeah he's right in front of me." I take the phone and mouth " Who is it?"

" Carly Shay." She whispers. She knows my past of lovers. Like Carly. After iCarly we all went our separate ways but we still keep in touch but I haven't spoken to Sam for years. Never told me she ended up but I wouldn't be surprised if she was working at 'Chili My Bowl'.

" Hey Carly." I say into the phone.

" Freddie! I was wondering did you get the invite?" Carly asks.

" The invite to what?" I ask smiling.

" To my wedding!"

" Oh my gosh! Your getting married?"

" Yeah!"

" Who to?" I ask. A small silence.

" Pee Wee loving Bad Boy." She replies in an embarrassing tone.

" Your marrying Griffin?" Griffin and I are close like brothers. Same with Carly and I, a brother and sister relationship.

" I can't believe it my self. We have only been dating for a few months but he purposed a month ago and I sent you an invite but you never replied so I thought,"

" Carly I'm coming to the wedding. I promise." I say happily.

" Great! It's this Saturday at St. Thomas Moore church. You know where it is?"

" I live in Seattle I know where it is."

" Awesome! And you need to bring a gift, we got enough but we will need some big Cs for the honeymoon." She says laughing. That is a wonderful disturbing image implanted into my brain.

" I'll wrap it up in green paper and a yellow tie." I say.

" Okay! See yeah then!"

" Oh wait."

" Yeah?"

" Is Sam gonna be there?"

" Yeah."

" Cool."

" You'll be walking with her down the isle. Your the Best Man!"

" Sweet! Why isn't it a friend of Griffin's?" I ask.

" It's a long story." I look over to Nina she whispers to me,

" One down and two more to go." Nina says and walks to her new desk. Carly hangs up the phone and I just to put my hand in my suit pocket and find the ring in it's box. I put it back in there.


	2. Wedding Night

Sam

….

" Bob, I am not gonna ask you again get that sauce on the prime before it goes out to table six." I yell. I love my job. I am around good food that I get to taste and good people who yell at you when you curse your mind out. My manager Sasha comes into the kitchen. Please don't let it be about table six. La Fance is the third most famous restaurant in all of Seattle. The pay is amazing so I don't complain.

" There is a call for you." Sasha says. Her face scares the shit out of me. Sixty year old woman with large amounts of bottom scare me. I walk out of the kitchen and go to the stand at the front of the restaurant.

" Sam Puckett speaking." I say into the phone.

" Is this a bad time to be double checking your coming to my wedding this saturday?" Carly says.

" Carly, this is the fourth time you have doubled checked with me." I say laughing.

" What can I say I am a perfectionist."

" That really has to stop." I say.

" Is my maid of honor ready to hear who she will be going down the isle with at my wedding?"

" Hit it on me." I say smiling. I look down at my shoes.

" The one….thee only…..Freddie Benson."

" Freddie Benson as in iCarly dork I had my first kiss with Freddie Benson?" I ask in a concerning tone.

" Who else?" Sasha looks at me telling me to get off the phone.

" I got to go Carly but I'll see you there at seven."

" See ya." She sounded like a teenager and hung the phone. Work ends and I take my old Subaru to my studio apartment. I turn on the lights and put my bag and keys where they belong on the table on the left wall. I look around. It's been two weeks since I caught Derek getting down and dirty with the girl from 3C. I kicked him out first thing. Where does he move? The slut's studio. Thank god I am on the sixth floor. I rip off my clothes and land in my bed. I lay there in my underwear drifting off into space. I hate my self so much. I kept on thinking that Derek was going to purposed to me and we would get out of this studio and have kids but I was so fucking wrong. So wrong. I eventually get under my covers and fall asleep but I have one other thing on my mind.

It's been so long, since I last saw Freddie.

-0-

I walk into the church and go straight to the dressing room where Carly is getting dressed. Carly's color scheme for the wedding was a little baby purple. I arrived in sweats and everyone else was in there dresses including Carly. It was beautiful. It was white (duh) it flowed to the ground and had a train. A heart bust with little purple gems along the edge. I was getting envied. Carly and I have always talked about our dream wedding. Mine is on a beach.

Carly notices me and turns around.

" What do you think?" She asks.

" You look beautiful."

" Okay we have an hour until the wedding and the Maid or Honor is no where near ready. Rapido!" Wendy yells. The three other bride maids; Wendy, Shelby, and Tasha were all ready except for make up and hair. I get into the light purple dress. Mine is longer than the girls cause I am the Maid of Honor. Heart bust as well with a white waist band. I flatten part of my hair and loosely curly them. I apply light brown eye shadow to make my eyes pop and mascara. Bronze on my cheeks and light pink lip stick. I am not really that big on make up and I never make an except for any occasion.

" It's time!" Wendy exclaims. I get in front of everyone else and see him. Freddie has changed. A lot. Taller, a bit more muscular, his face looks amazing. Never a less to say, he was HOT!

" Hey Sam." He says putting his arms out for a hug.

" Freddistien." I say. We exist the hug.

" I thought name calling ended senior year of High School."

" Name calling goes on forever Fredalupe." I put my arm through the opening between his arm and his chest. The music started to play. Freddie and I went down first and some faces from High School were there and they were amazed at the sight they were seeing right now. We get to the end of the isle and stand in our spots. Everything was beautiful. The wedding was beautiful. We all went to our cars and drove an hour out of Seattle to the reception at an Old Golf course. Freddie had to follow me so I flipped him off at every intersection so he wouldn't loose me and he flipped me back. We got there and I headed to the bar, the first thing I did. I was depressed that I would never marry so I am going to make this reception my bitch. I turn around and Freddie is chugging down a beer.

" What happened to you?" I ask.

" My secretary." He says. We are both one percent out of ten to drunk.

" What do you mean?" I ask.

" My girlfriend slept with my secretary and apparently fell in love with him. Not to mention she told me exactly when I purposed to her. If he was here right now he could be fucking you and Wendy at the same time"

" Mine's worse." I say taking another sip. Freddie looks at me.

" How? How is it any worse than that?"

" I caught my boyfriend." He's eyes pop out. " I walked into my house and found him fucking the brains out of the girl from 3C. She is such a slut."

" Mark is such a man whore."

" I'll drink to that." We cling our drinks together and gulp them down.

" Now time for the bride and groom to have there first dance." The DJ says. We both walk over. They choose "You and Me" by Lifetime. I felt like crying but I held it in. After the song goes " I'll be" by Edwin McCain, the DJ announce it is time for Maid of Honor and the Best Man to dance. Freddie takes my hand and glides me over the dance floor. He dips me and twirls me around. I can't help of giggling. I rest my head into his neck. The glasses start clinging. I look over to Carly and Griffin who are kissing.

" Man and Honor! Man and Honor!" Everyone starts chanting. I look at Freddie.

" We don't have to." I say looking into his chocolate brown melting eyes.

" We could give them what they want." He says. He leans in and kisses me on the lips. Slap my cheek and call me an idiot but I have been dreaming of a kiss like that since junior year. I grab his face and pull him into a french kiss.

" Hey," I stop kissing Freddie. " No get'n nasty on the dancefloor." The DJ says.

The reception goes on but Freddie and I steal a bottle of vodka and a thing of Mike's lemonade. I walk over some golf courses and plant our selves in front of the lake.

Freddie

…

As shitty as this sounds but I can't let go of the ring. I put it in my tux pocket and I am going to keep it there.

" I feel like shit!" Sam exclaims. " These heels! This dress." She takes off her shoes and throws them a side and tries to rip the dress but it's heavy fabric. We are both half way to drunk town.

" Let's stop drinking." I say and throw the drinks into the lake.

" Smart move. I need to drive home anyway." Sam says. I sit back down and she lies down on the grass. I lie down next to her. Our heads two inches apart. I look at the bright stars. There so beautiful and clear on a night like this. I look over to Sam and her eyes are welled up.

" What's wrong?" I ask.

" It's just the fact that I thought he would purposed to me! But he banged a fucking slut! I am so humiliated!" She cries. I wrap my arms around her.

" I promise I'll never let that happen to you ever again." I say.

" You promise?"

" I promise because," She lifts her head up and looks into my eyes. Her blue eyes take me to another place.

" I love you." I add. Sam grabs my face and kisses me with passion.


	3. Waking Up to You

Freddie

…

I walk up in a strange house. It wasn't my house cause it was just one big room with a bathroom and connecting kitchen. I feel hungover and my balls burned of hard core sex. Thank god it's a sunday. I look at the room from the bed. Everything is a total and complete mess, like I had sex on every inch of this place. Then I realized I am totally naked. Yep, I did have sex. My clothes are scattered all over. I don't even bother. I just really need a shower.

Sam

….

My head throbs with the pain of a hangover. God Fuck. My crotch feels like I shoved four maxi tampons in it. I am also naked. Fuck! I had sex! I look around my apartment. I had hard core sex on my coffee table. Just great. Not to mention the stain on my carpet. Fuck it! I look down at my fingers to check all limbs are at place. I look down at my wedding finger and see a gold band with a small diamond. Oh fuck, I am married. I hear my shower being in used. Oh fuck. I start looking for a shirt to throw on and I grab his cause it was the nearest one to me. I start to clean up the mess. I think I am going to throw out the carpet. I always hated it. Derek picked it out. I open the window and throw it on the fire escape. Shit my head hurts. I go to my kitchen and take an advil. I start to pick his and mine clothes. I feel a wallet in his pants pocket. Let's see if I married a billionaire. He does have a lot of dough. I find his driver's lisence, Let's see I married…FREDDORK?

" Oh, My, GOD!" I yell. I hear the shower turn off and Freddie runs out with a towel covering his lower half. I think he realized where he was.

" What's going on here?" He asks.

" How about you explain this!" I point up my wedding finger showing the band. He grabs my hand and looks at the damage.

" Oh fuck. We're married." I look down on the ground and see the documents from Seattle City Hall.

" Yeah legit married." I say showing him the documents.

" Fuck!"

-0-

Freddie and I stand in front of a judge at City Hall. I am wearing a red blouse and skinny jeans.

" So you two are telling me that you two were both under the influences of alcohol and got married here?" The judge asks.

" Yeah." We both say.

" Normally I would let this divorce go through but this is the seventh time this week I have had this case. I am not granting you the divorce. You two are going to stay married. Move into Freward Benson's aparment. Not to mention I am going to have a person to come every single week to make sure you two are committed to this relationship. I hate this generation that guts drunk and realizes they should get married!" He slams the wooden thing down and we both walk out.

" See at your house in a few?" I say to Freddie.

" Tenth floor, a hundred and twenty East avenue." He says.

" I know where you live." I say annoyingly. I pack up all my clothes and my land lord puts my house back up for rent. I leave the carpet. I pack up the contents of my fridge also. I pack some needless things that I thought I should have in Freddie's place. I get to his house and knock on the tenth floor door. He opens it and lets me in. His house is amazing. Two floors has a twirl down staircase. I see the kitchen and his living room.

" Well home." He says sarcastically.

" What? No carrying me over the threshold?" He picks me up bridal style and puts me on the couch. I look at him.

" I always imagined my life after I am married to be perfect." I say.

" Well it's not coming true." I get off the couch and I get the rest of my things.

" There is a walk in closet upstairs in the bedroom. You can put your clothes there." I take my boxes and walk up the staircase and find the bedroom. It's a king size bed. Green comforter. Lots of pillows. A bedside table on each side. I know which side I'm claiming. I find some underwear and keep it. I go through the drawers and find the invite to Carly's wedding. Written on it says " NOT GOING" I walk down stairs and lean over the counter looking into the kitchen. Freddie is doing the dishes in a black man tank.

" What is it?" He asks.

" I found the invite to Carly's wedding in one of the drawers." I say. He snatches it out of his hand and sees what she wrote on it.

" Fuck Ellie." He says and throws it into the trash bag. I silence appears.

" I know you don't like this one bit and to tell you the truth I don't either. As teenagers we we're…..evil to each other but if we're gonna make this work, we have to trust each other." He looks up at me.

" No more name calling?" He asks.

" Done." I reply.

" No pranks?"

" Done."

" No embarrassing me?" I roll my eyes and look back at him.

" Fine." That night we watch a movie with popcorn like old times with Carly. Then the movie goes all love dovey. The man looks into her eyes and he plants a kiss on her. It started to remind me of my first kiss that made me smile.

" Why are you smiling?" Freddie asks.

" It's just, the movie reminded me of our first kiss." I say taking a sip of beer.

" Oh yeah." Freddie says smiling. " Do you remember what song was playing?"

" It was Running Away by AM. I had that as a ringtone for a year." I reply. " I am such a girly girl for remembering that."

" I remember what day it was."

" You did?"

" Yeah. It was January 3rd."

" Wow. I never thought you would remember that."

" I also remember the day that Carly asked us if we liked the kiss." He says.

" Yeah. We never found out if we liked it." I say smiling.

" Not to mention a year later you and me lost our virginities to each other."

" Oh yeah. I the big pregnancy scare." (Rememeber iDo the Deed?)

" The most scariest day of my whole entire life."

" I know." I put my head on his shoulder and he kiss my forehead.

" I think I might enjoy these next few years." He says.

" You realize we have to tell Carly." I say.

"I know that." We go to bed and Sam was getting nervous cause the last time we were in a bed together we fucked.

-0-

Freddie

…

I walk into work and see Nina sitting at her desk and she follows me into my office.

" Care to explain why there is a voice message from City Hall telling you all of Sam Puckett's money and assets are all in your conjoined account now?" Nina asks. I get up from my seat and close the door and shield the blinds.

" I got drunk at Carly's wedding and I married Sam." I say hiding my face.

" You married Sam?" She screams. I cover her mouth.

" You can't tell anyone! Don't call my mother. She will come and find me and beg for grand children and why she wasn't invited to the wedding and I am not in the mood to tell her I got drunk."

" Didn't you get drunk at prom?" She asks. I told her that story?

" Yeah, and I was banned from hanging with the gang. Not to mention no internet for a month."

" Well, she isn't in control of you anymore." Nina says.

" Sam is telling Carly. Carly is gonna flip." I say.

" Well how about you and Sam get married again?" Nina suggests.

" Why would we get married again?"

" Cause..if you two get married. Your mom will never know of the drunk incident and not to mention it will boost the points of good marriage by doing a do-over wedding."

" That's not a half bad idea." I say.

" And if I were you. I would call Sam before she goes and tells Carly." Carly and Griffin are doing there honeymoon in New York City. Three hour time difference. I pull out my cellphone and call Sam.

" What do you want?" Sam asks.

" Nothing. But the greatest idea ever." I say.

" I'm listening."

" Don't tell Carly yet. We're gonna tell her, in a few weeks a the rehearsal dinner." I say.

" What are you talking about Benson?"

" Well Mrs. Benson, what if I told you can have the wedding you have always dreamed about?"

" Keep talking."

" My mom would kill me if she found out we got married due to alcohol. So, if we got married. She will never know and Carly won't flip."

" I like the way you think Mr. Benson. Talk to you tonight." I hang up the phone.

" Freddie!" Nina yells from her desk.

" What?" I say. She points upstairs.

" The big man wants you." I get out of my seat and go upstairs to Mr. Jenson's office. He gestures me to take a seat.

" I have noticed that you are a hard worker and you have a lot of time on your hands, not to mention your input here is absolutely fantastic. How would you like to stay here after hours to make life a bit easier. Come on. I double the pay and you'll get alone time."

" I love the offer Mr. Jenson but you see my wife,"

" Your wife? Your married?"

" Just recently yeah."

" Is she a good one."

" Yeah." I say.

" Well imagine office sex. I do with my wife here every once in a while when I have long nights and no one is here. Except for the janitor."

" We're not like that." I say.

" Okay but you could at least stay here longer on tuesday nights. That's all I ask."

" Sure."

" See you later." He says and I walk out the door. Never do I want to hear that discussion.

The day comes to an end and I head home. I find Sam in the kitchen which was weird cause I have never seen you cook.

" When did you cook?" I ask putting my bag on the table.

" Since cooking school." She replies.

" So that's where you were all those years." I say.

" Yeah, and then I got a job at Le Fance." She says. " I hope you like Shepard pie."

" Shepard pie?"

" It's meat with mashed potatoes roasted on top."

" I am actually looking forward for dinner for once."

" Why?"

" Ellie couldn't cook. She would buy already made stuff and heat it up."

" I was wondering why your oven was dusty."

" You cleaned it?"

" Yes Freddie. I clean." I take a seat on the couch and I turn on the t.v.

" And since you know have a wife, we could get rid of that porn you have in the Camping Box."

" That's Gibby's. He hides it here from Tasha."

" They seriously got married after High School?"

" Yeah. No one was invited cause they had it in Vegas."

" Wouldn't surprise me."

" Also tomorrow night I have to stay late at the office." I add.

" Why?"

" My boss wants me working late nights on tuesdays. I don't think it will be permanent."

" Little Freddie is a big shot now at Jenson's Incorperation."

" You can kill the jokes Puckett."

" You forgot that I am now a Benson."

After dinner we climb into bed. Sam gets nervous again. She wears tight underwear and a loose shirt. I move closer to her and wrap my arm around her.

" Why do you always get so nervous when getting into bed?" I ask.

" Did you really mean it? When you said you loved me at the golf course?" She asks.

" I did." I kiss her cheek and close my eyes.


	4. Test of Pleasure

Sam

….

" But it seems too good to be true." I say to Emmeline. She was my roommate all throughout college and her uncle recommended me here. She's a total ginger with the red hair with hazel eyes and freckles.

" Well it sounds good to me. Unless you promised not to embarrass him." She says.

" I did."

" Okay listen to me for a second."

" What?" I put aside the mix for the frosting for the carrot cake.

" Remember Peter I used to date four months ago?"

" Yeah. I came over to your house finding you two doing the nasty on the table. An image stuck in my mind forever."

" Well anyway, a week after dating I went to his office at Duane Copperation and no one was there. So we took advantage of office sex before we got caught by his boss."

" What's your point?" She slides me a box of cookies. I read the label out load.

" Frisky cookies. If your man is not in the mood give him the cure. You want me to give Freddie get in the mood cookies?"

" He will never know. Pop by his office close the blinds and say you didn't want to eat dinner alone but you have to dress sexy."

" Sexy?"

" Yeah! Where that skirt and deep v neck shirt I bought you."

" But how will this prove he loves me."

" Let's call it Test of Pleasure. If he can't bring the goods then you'll have to make him your bitch."

" You hang out too much with your teenage brother."

" I know and date a lot of idiots."

After work I head home and dig through my boxes. I don't have everything out. I find the skirt. It's so slutty. I hate Emmeline. I then find the shirt. I love Emmeline at times but this isn't one of these times. I walk into the kitchen and throw in the salad and the pasta. I look over at the cookies. Well, I don't remember Saturday night. I throw the cookies in and with also brownies. I am deeply going to regret this. I take a taxi to his building. I look up at it. This is gonna be interesting. I go to his floor. The lights are all out except for I think his office.

" Sorry. It's closed." This girl with wavy brown hair says. " Oh wait. Your Sam." She smiles.

" Yeah." I say.

" He's in there. I'm leaving now." She says smiling. I walk into his office and see him on his computer.

" Hello Mr. Benson."

" Nina, I told you," He looks around.

" Sam." He says smiling. " What are you doing here?"

" I didn't want my Freddie eating fast food."

" Who are you and what did you do with Sam?"

" It's still me Freddie. Have some salad" I say.

Freddie

…..

This is a new side to Sam that I have ever seen. Not mention to say she looks hot in that shirt of her's. I finish the pasta.

" I'll see you at home at ten." I say.

" I brought dessert." She says pulling out the box. She brought dessert when she walked in. She sits on my desk.

" Try the cookies." She says.

" Did you poison them?" I ask.

" Why would I do that?" She says looking into my eyes. I take on and look back at my computer. I take a second one. I look back to Sam who is looking at some papers. I get extremely horny.

" Your not wearing underwear?" I ask.

" Why do you ask?" She asks back seductively. I grab Sam's legs and pull her on top of me. I press my lips to her's. I pull her hair and she moans in pleasure. I pull off her shirt and she takes off my blazer. I pick her up and put her on the desk. I rank her skirt up and she un does my pants.

" Oh Freddie!" She moans as I kiss her neck.

" Sshh. The cleaning crew could be here." I say. " Your on the pill?"

" Duh." I enter her and it felt so good.

" Harder!" She says. My mind goes off into another place

_" I can't believe I am Mrs. Samantha Benson." She says._

_" I know." I press my lips on to her's. She pushes me against the wall and wraps her legs around me. We fall onto the couch where I start to feel her up. She throws me on the floor and takes off my shirt. We both wanted to get right to it. I pick her up and put her on the coffee table. I rip her dress and she just laughs it off._

_" Mr. Benson have muscles." Sam says grabbing them. I tore off her undies and rammed into her. She gasped loudly._

_" You okay?" I ask being concerned._

_" Like when we did it when we were sixteen Benson. Slowly medium rate." Oh yeah. I remember. We take it on the ground and then to her bed._

_" Oh fuck me Freddie! Harder!" Sam exclaims. I grant her wishes. " Your such a man in bed." I lean down and give her a simple kiss and we stop and drift off to sleep._

I just remembered what happened that night. Sam pushes me off and fixes her self. I take a seat and buckle my pants.

" That was," She says.

" Hot." I add. I look up at her.

" Who knew there was a beast inside of you Benson." She says putting on her shirt. I look at the time. It's almost ten. I fix my office and walk out. I see my boss with his wife. Oh Shit.

" Freddie!" He exclaims.

" Mr. Jenson!" I exclaim back. " And I am guessing this is the beautiful wife." He says taking Sam's hand and kissing it. " You are?"

" Samantha but everyone calls me Sam." Sam says.

" Understandable. This is my wife Rose." He says patting her back.

" Freddie can I talk to you over here?" He says pointing me to the corner. This is not good.

" I see that you took my advice." He says.

" Well Sam popped by with dinner and she brought desert with her." I say laughing.

" I see that. I am starting to like you more Benson. Your not like the other workers here. Your very determined."

" I know Sir."

" That's why I am going to bring you up a level. Your going to be Vice President of Jenson Inc."

" Oh my gosh! Thank you!" We both go for a man hug.

" Your welcome. And also Benson."

" Yeah?"

" Your mouth smells of frisky cookies."

" Frisky cookies?"

" You know those cookies that help you, get into the mood. Horny in better terms." I just realized what happened to me a few minutes ago. He pats my back and walking out. Sam and I walk out and get into my car. We start driving and I look at her.

" You gave me frisky cookies?" I ask looking at her.

" It was all Emmeline's idea." She says.

" Who is Emmeline?"

" A friend of mine."

" Does she has red hair and work at Le Fance?" I ask.

" Why do you ask that? You know her?"

" Mark banged her two months ago. Let's just say they were getting it on in the Men's room."

" Excuse her slutiness. She has issues."

" But why frisky cookies?"

" I didn't know what I was thinking! It was just a joke, and a test if you could bring the goods." She says sinking into the car seat. The light goes back to green.

" You thought I wouldn't be good in bed?" I ask.

" I don't remember Saturday night Freddie." She says. We stop in front of our house.

" Well, you will now." I say.

Sam

….

What? He opens the door for me and offers his hand. I take the bag with me. We walk inside and take the elevator. He grabs my face and kisses me. I jump on top of him and wrap my legs around him. We get off at our floor. He opens the door open and I throw the bag on the floor. I get off of him and kick off my shoes. We chase each other up the stair case to the bed but we didn't make it. We were so loud. Half way through we hear a knock on the door. Freddie gets off of me and puts on his boxers. I grab his shirt and put it on. It's so freak'n big. He opens the door and a elderly couple is standing there.

" The grand children are here. Can you please quite down." She asks nicely.

" Yes." I say. " I'm really sorry."

" Don't worry." The old man says. They walk away and I hear the old man ramble " I remember those days. Can we try it again?"

" Oh shut up Fredric." She says slapping his gut. I smile and close the door. I look at Freddie and start laughing.

" Why are you laughing?" He asks joining in.

" The old guy was asking if they could have sex like the good old days." I say. Freddie hugs me and kisses my forehead. We throw the clothes into the laundry pile and head up out into bed. I put my head on his chest and I feel his hands go to my crotch.

" I've had enough for one night." I say sleepily.

" I was just teasing you." He says.


	5. Your dating? No, Married

Sam

…

I wake up and find Freddie gone. I look over to my bedside table and find a letter;

' Left early for work. Big man now.

- Mr. Benson'

I get out of bed and head downstairs. I'm about to open the fridge when I hear a knock on the door. I walk over and open it. A bald man with a gray suit on and a binder stands there.

" May I help you?" I ask crossing my arms.

" Good, your living with him." He says opening the binder and checking something off. I look down seeing that I am wearing his shirt.

" Who are you?" I ask.

" Mr. Stark. I'm here to check up on you and Fredward Benson. To make sure you are trying to work on this marriage."

" Well, Mr. Benson and I had hard core sex last night."

" Did you enjoy it?" He asks looking down at his binder. I cock my eyebrow and slam my door on him.

" I will take that as a yes. See you in a couple of weeks." I hear him walk away. I look around as I sip the milk from the carton. Today I have the day off. Well, I do have laundry to do. I get dressed into my shorts and shirt. I head downstairs and find a frantic woman about my age running around looking for something. Her curly brown hair comes out of her loose pony tail.

" Oh shit." She says.

" May I help you?" I ask. She looks at me. Her face seems so familiar. Her green eyes look scared.

" Yeah. I am looking for a piece of underwear of mine. Purple with gold stripes."

" Boyfriend cut from Veronica Secret?" I ask. She looks at me curiously. Ellie, the little bitch.

" How would you know?" She asks. I dig my hand through the laundry and pull them out.

" I think you left them at your ex-boyfriend's house." I say holding them up.

" Your Freddie's rebound girl? I knew he had something for blondes." She says taking them and crossing her arms. What the fuck did he see in her?

" He always had something for bitches." I say.

" So, you two are dating."

" No. We're married." I say holding up my hand. Her face goes into shock. " It was kind of sweet. He got down on one knee and told me he loved me ever since we had our first kiss when we were fourteen." She raises her eyebrow.

" Freddie and I had sex in the shower."

" We did it on the stairs." Her mouth drops and struts out of the room.

That was fun.

-0-

Freddie

….

" I'm going out to lunch Neenz." I say as I exist my office.

" Nina!" She exclaims.

" Not according to the Christmas party." I yell.

" That was two years ago!" She complains. I walk out on to the street and I walk into Cafe' Cam's. I order the usual. Mozzarella panini and a Key Lime pie slice. I pull my phone out and look at my new messages.

" Hello Freddie." I hear. I look up and see Ellie wearing a see through black dress. If I didn't know any better I would say she was trying to win me back.

" Ellie." I say. She takes a seat in front of me. I looks at me seductively.

" What are you doing here?" I ask annoyingly.

" I like Cafe Cam." She says sweetly.

" While we were dating, you told me you hated this place."

" I changed."

" Here's your mozzarella panini and key lime slice." The waitress says putting them down. Silence comes between Ellie and I.

" Does she cook?" She asks looking around.

" Who cooks?" I ask back.

" Your new wife." She says sternly. Oh no, Sam.

" Yeah. Sam. She cooks." I say.

" That's all I needed to know." She gets out of her seat. Once outside she looks at me through the window.

" Ex-girlfriend?" The waitress asks standing next to me.

" Ex-fiance." I reply.

" The meals on the house." She says walking away.

Sam

…

After laundry I found my self roaming around the house looking for something to do. Watched one clip of Gibby's asian porn and then turned it off in disgust. I find a closet near the first floor bathroom. On the top I find a medium sized box. I bring it over to the coffee table and open it. I find pictures of Freddie and Ellie holding hands, kissing, on dates, oo they went to Paris. While looking at the ones that took place in Paris I noticed how Ellie's smiles were always forced smiles. She would look away. Move her hat down more. Throw on a pair of sunglasses. Some bitch he kept for three years.

My afternoon went by searching more throughout the house. Around six I start to make dinner. An hour later while the ham was in the oven, Freddie came home.

" I'm home!" He announces.

" Good cause we're having ham for dinner." I say. I watch him go up the stairs and go to his office on the second floor.

I make the table for us two.

" Dinner time!" I yell. Freddie came down and grabbed his food and took a seat across from me. He took one bite of the ham.

" This is good ham." Freddie says.

" I know." I say smiling. We eat dinner in quite until Freddie spoke.

" Apparently you met my ex." He says.

" Yeah, I don't think me giving her back her underwear was the right way to say I am Freddie's wife." I say.

" Well she tried to win me back during lunch with a see through dress."

" Well, she is a pretty girl."

" Yeah, who knew she was a total ass bitch."

" Wasn't surprised when you said her new boyfriend was a man whore." I say. He looks at me and smiles.


	6. Congratulations

Freddie

…..

I wake up and look over at Sam who sleeps peacefully. She moves way too much in her sleep. I move my self closer to her and stroke her hair.

" Don't touch me." She says sleepily. I jolt back in my original position. She twirls around and lands on me.

" Your not gonna touch this body until we're married." She says sternly.

" Okay." I say. My alarm goes off and Sam turns it off for me while sitting on my lap.

" Good morning." She says kissing me on the cheek.

" Good morning?" I say.

" I was talking about little Freddie." She says patting my crotch. She kisses me on the lips and gets out of bed.

" Your so bipolar!" I yell as she leaves the room.

" Not even close Benson!" She yells. Little did I know everything was gonna change.

-0-

5 Weeks Later…..

" I'm home!" I yell announcing my arrival from work. " Sam?" I listen closely. I hear vomiting from the first floor bathroom. I knock on the door.

" Are you okay?" I ask. I hear the toilet flush and the running of the sink. Sam opens the door and she looks fine but she holds her stomach.

" Are you okay?" I ask holding her arm.

" I was chopping up the onions for the dinner tonight and then I felt sick. God damn it my head hurts!" Sam replies holding her head.

" Well, lie down on the couch and I'll order take out for dinner. Okay?"

" I'm in the mood for a burger and maybe a peanut butter milkshake."

" Who would have a peanut butter milkshake?"

" I don't know but I am craving one!"

" Okay?" She goes and lies down on the bed. I take the home phone and call up my doctor.

" Hello Mr. Godridge." I say.

" Hello Freddie how may I help you?" He asks in his deep voice.

" Yeah. I just came home to find my wife puking and complaining of a headache. Also, do you know where I can find a peanut butter milkshake?"

" Well, Freddie if I didn't know any better I would say she was pregnant. Is she hormonal? Is she on the pill?"

'' Yeah she's on the pill."

" Do you know if she has stopped using it in the past cause if she doesn't use it for a certain amount of time. It will no longer work."

" I'll ask her." I'm about to hang up when,

" Freddie,"

" Yeah?"

" You can peanut butter milkshakes at Penelope's diner." He hangs up. I put the phone away and head over to Sam who looks worse. I stroke her hair.

" When's the food coming?" She asks,

" We're gonna go out." I say.

" But I look like shit."

" Well get dressed cause we have to talk about something." She lifts her head and looks at me. She opens her mouth to complain but she heads upstairs. She wears a blue skirt and gray tank top with gold gladiators.

" Cute." I say.

" Don't mention it." She says. We head out and I stop at the drug store as we walk.

" What are we stopping here for?" Sam asks.

" Come with me." I say grabbing her hand. I pull her down the condom and pregnancy test isle. We stop in front of the pregnancy tests.

" You trying to tell me something?" She asks.

" Are you on the pill?" I ask.

" Yeah."

" Were you on the pill when we had sex two months ago."

" Why do you ask?"

" Cause you puked in the toilet and craved a peanut butter milkshake. Come on, were you on the pill when we had sex for the first time?" She takes a deep breath and crosses her arms.

" When I caught Derek with the slut, I stop taking my pills cause I thought I would be lonely and single forever. " I pull out a box of pregnancy test.

" This one tells you with a happy face." I say showing it.

" Are we gonna get food?" Sam asks.

" We'll get it to go." We buy the test and head down to Penelope's diner where Sam got a extra large cheeseburger with a large onion ring order and the peanut butter milkshake. We walk inside into the apartment. Sam was finishing her milkshake.

" I need to pee." She says putting the milkshake on the counter.

" Your gonna take the test?" I ask digging my hand through the drug store bag.

" It's either now or later Fredhead." Putting her hand out. I put the test in her hands and she walks off to the bathroom. I unpack the food from the bags and put them out on plates. I hear the toilet flush. Sam comes walking out holding the other end of it.

" We have to wait six minutes." Sam says putting the test on a tissue. The door bell rings.

" I'll get it." I say walking towards the door. I open the door and a bald man with a blue suit stands there with a binder.

" Who are you?" I ask.

" I'm Mr. Stark." He says putting his hand out. I shake it.

" May I help you?" I ask.

" I am the marriage supervisor. I was here five weeks ago. I found your wife glistening after hard core sex according to her words."

" Okay?"

" Uh Freddie, we need to talk," Sam says coming up behind me. I move a bit out of the way that Sam was standing next to me in the doorway.

" Oh look, a pregnancy test." Mr. Stark says taking it away from Sam.

" We need that." Sam says arguing.

" Well, look at that. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Benson your having a kid." Putting it back in my hand. " See ya." Like that he walks away.

Sam

….

I'm, I'm, I'm…..

" PREGNANT!" I yell. Oh my god. I start to hyperventilate. My heart stops beating and my world goes black. I open my eyes and look around a none familiar room. I see a curtain on my right.

" So she is defiantly pregnant?" I hear Freddie say through the curtain.

" A hundred percent. Two months pregnant. Keep an eye on her Freddie." I hear the male doctor say.

" Thanks Brenton." Freddie says. The curtain is moved away. Freddie smiles.

" Hey." He says walking over to me.

" Hey." I say moving my hand up and down belly. He takes my hand.

" The doctor confirmed your pregnant." He says nicely.

" I heard." I say. Freddie moves my hair from my face and kisses my forehead.

" This wedding has to happen soon." I say looking into his eyes. " I'm not in the mood to tell anyone I am pregnant until I have a ring on my finger."


	7. Wedddings minus alcohol

Freddie; One Week Later

…

If Sam and I weren't talking about one thing it would be the wedding. Sam is such a girl. I see her face light up whenever someone calls saying there coming. The good thing is that she not letting the stress get to her. Today we were going to the Florist.

" I don't know what kind of flowers I want. I don't even know the color scheme!" She says.

" How about we do yellow and we could do sunflowers and light pink roses." I say. Sam looks at me.

" That's like the smartest idea ever! Why didn't I think of that?"

" Cause your stressing now."

" I'm not stressing."

" Then why is my hand numb?" I ask. She was squeezing my hand way to hard.

" Sorry." And she lets go of it. We order the flowers and head back to the house. We have gotten at least seven presents. I take a seat on the couch and flip to a random channel.

" So, everyone that we invited is coming." Sam says sitting next to me.

" So what does that mean?" I ask.

" That means seventy people are coming."

" Wow."

" No more, no less." Sam says putting her head on shoulder.

" Is little baby Benson doing okay?" I ask. She holds her belly.

" Making me hormonal and vomit by the hours on the dot." Sam replies. " It sort of weird being pregnant. Even though I wake up to vomit, I feel content through the day knowing I am bring something into the world." I look into her eyes and then look down at her belly. I kiss her belly. I look back up at her face.

" I think your the best thing that's happen to me." I say. Sam leans in and kisses me. Like the night we had our first kiss.

-0-

I walk into the church and look at Gibby who has Tasha fixing his tie. The suspense was killing me. It feels like yesterday Sam and I got drunk and accidentally got married but the truth is that, that happened like a month ago. I look around and see the sunflowers and the light pink roses on the end of each row of benches. Sam and I went totally traditional and made sure we don't see each other until the wedding day. So last night I didn't see her cause she slept at Emmeline's. I got a very horny text message from who I think was Emmeline who got my number saying Sam wanted to be in my pants. I never met this Emmeline but I could tell she would be perfect for Mark. I finish buttoning up my tux and I tie my tie. I walk down the isle and take my spot. I look among everyone. I see my mom crying into Spencer's chest and Spencer is trying to push her off. I see Sam's mom. She just smiles and keep looking down at her purse. The music starts to play. The big moment. I see Carly walks down in a yellow strapless dress. Behind her I see a total look-a-like of Sam. Oh my god. She wasn't kidding around when she said she had a twin sister then Tasha came. I look down and see Sam. Wow. She looked amazing. Her dress was strapless. It was like a corset of a top then it puffed up a bit hitting the ground. She walked down the isle by herself which I could tell she didn't mind. She finally gets up to me.

" Ready to get married?" I ask.

" Minus the alcohol. Yes." She says smiling. The priest goes through the typical saying " We are gathered here today, and why we love each other."

Never the less to say. When I recall the moment I found out I drunkenly married Sam, I was expecting hell in a jar but it was different. She had matured since those days in High School. She was different but she was still the Sam you knew in love. Through sickness and through health. We have basically gone through everything together. I won't mind spending the rest of my life with her. Even if that means the most weirdest cravings a girl like her that could have during pregnancy.

" Do you Fredward Benson take Samantha Puckett to be your wife. To have and to hold till this day forward?" He asks.

" I do." I say.

" And do you Samantha Puckett take Fredward Benson to be your husband. To have and to hold till this day forward." She looks into my eyes.

" I do." She says.

" Well by the power invested in me, I bring you Mr. and Mrs. Benson. You may kiss the bride." The priest says. I grab her face and kiss her. We break the kiss and I look around. I see my mother crying even more into Spencer's chest as he's trying to clap. Carly and Griffin are making out them selves. I grab Sam's hand we walk down the isle. We get into the car. I kiss Sam.

" Even though we got drunk and got married at City Hall, more likely expected us to live together in a living hell, I am actually happy I married you." Sam says.

" I know."


	8. The Birth of

Sam

…

I lie in bed and look over to Freddie who is sleeping contently. I look down at my full grown pregnant belly. I want to thank god I am having a kid. Not kids. I'm a twin. It happens. I look over at the clock and it reads 11:34 PM. Everything from the past months pours into my head like soup in a bowl.

Freddie and I got drunk. Freddie and I got married under the influence of alcohol. I got pregnant with Freddie's kid. I married Freddie for reals. Freddie and I moved out of his apartment into a nice wooden house here in the suburbs of Seattle. Wow, that went by so fast. Not to mention pregnancy sex was amazing. Extremely horny all the time. Freddie loved it. I start to stroke my belly then, I feel like I just peed my self. I sit up in the bed.

" Freddie." I say nudging him.

" What?" He asks sleepily.

" Either I just peed or…."

-0-

" AAAHHHH!" I scream. I feel like I am shoving a watermelon out of me while knives stab my sides.

" One more push." The doctor says. I close my eyes and hold Freddie's hand tightly. I shake my head.

" It hurts!" I complain.

" Sam, I'm right here." Freddie says looking into my eyes.

" Next contraction." The doctor says. The contraction comes and I push all I can. " I can see the head."

" Oh my god." Freddie says looking at my vagina.

" Freddie!" I yell. He looks up at me. " Your not fainting on me so pull her eyes up here."

" True." He says. The doctor tells me to push one more time and I feel the utter sigh of relief. I hear a small scream echo the room.

" It's a boy." The doctor says holding him. " Will the father like to cut the cord?" Freddie lets go of my hand and cuts it. I watch Freddie follow him over to the little baby bed. I push the placenta out and close up my legs for the first time the whole labor. Freddie comes back to me.

" He's very handsome." He says.

" He gets his good look from his father." I say smiling.

" Like to hold him?" The nurse asks holding him in her arms.

" Yes." I say putting my arms out. The nurse puts him in my arms. I look down at his little baby face. His nose is just like Freddie's and his ears are just like mine. His hair a deep black.

" He's seven pounds and four ounces. He's also a foot and a half. He's a happy health baby." The nurse says.

" Do you have a name yet?" The other nurse says holding a clip board.

" Give us a second." Freddie says.

" What names did we have down for boys?" I ask.

" It was Alexander, Tyler, Nicholas, and also Mason." Freddie replies.

" How about Nicholas Tyler."

" I like that name. Nicholas Tyler Benson."

" Nicholas Tyler Benson." The nurse says jotting it down on the clip board and walks away. The other nurse comes back to us.

" Do you wish to breast feed little Nicholas?" She asks. I say yes and she helps me place him and everything. She told me that he was an easy latcher. That most babies need help. He was one hungry baby. I could feel him sucking. It sort of tickled. I couldn't help of giggle a bit.

Freddie

….

I sat on the chair near the bed. I could help of chuckle at the sight of her face. She couldn't believe she was a mother. Sooner or later, Nicholas was done feeding and Sam took a well deserved nap. Little Nicholas was put in a little baby bed near Sam's bed. I started to hear little squeals and gasps from Nicholas. He looks so much like me when I was a baby with his hair. I get up and look down at him. His eyes open to reveal deep blue eyes. I couldn't help of smiling. They are so much like Sam's. I pick him up for the first time. He's so small. I take a seat on the chair with him in my arms. I stroke my thumb against his small cheek. I swear he smiled.

" Do you know what mommy went through for you?" I say to Nicholas. " Pain. Pain that she thought she would never experience. She made a vow in High School that she'll never have kids after watching the Miracle of Life in Health class. I still remember that afternoon. Mommy and Daddy were both scarred for life after that. I just want to let you know, as much as we might yell at each other over the small things like who finished the bacon, Mommy and Daddy love each other very much." I kiss him on his little forehead.

" Your such a dork." I turn and see Sam smiling and awake. " I'll always love you." I get up and put Nicholas in Sam's arms which she had only opened for him. I get into bed with her. She looks at me and smiles.

'" Kiss me you dork." Sam says.

" I thought nick names stopped in High School." I say.

" But your my dork." I lean in a kiss her passionately on the lips. Sam digs her head into my shoulder and we all fall asleep as a family for the first time.


End file.
